In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out.  It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being.  We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.

~Albert Schweitzer

It’s been a rough week. But that’s not what this post is about. It’s no surprise to anyone that knows me that I wear my emotions on my sleeve. It’s in my nature, it’s what I do. I get emotionally attached really easily and breaking loose from something is way out of the norm and tosses me for a loop. I feel like I lean on my friends all to often. Even though they’ll probably tell you that I don’t. Everyone tells me I’m a great listener. I’ve always been ok with sitting there just listening to someone let it go, vent, etc. I absorb it and try my best to find the good in it. Sometimes I can and sometimes I can’t. That’s life I suppose.

On the other hand I’m terrible at expressing what I’m thinking or going through. Sure, I wear my emotions on my sleeve but that’s only a visible thing. I can’t express it verbally a majority of the time. That’s where my friends come in.

This week has been a hell of a rough one and I’m not sure where I’d be right now without them. So here’s to you my friends the ones who are there for me when I need you the most.

Dave -

@tricon. Dude we’ve never met but you’re one of the only people in my life right now that I can talk to on the same level as me and leave the conversation feeling great about what we just spoke about. You’re level headed and honest and I appreciate that more than anything. One of these days I’m flying out there to visit for sure.

Thanks for the conversations and chatter. You were there for me and you know I’m there for you.

Kevin -

Your one of the few constants in my life. Whether it’s chucking a can of cashews at me or almost diving in on top of me in the pool you keep me smiling and I appreciate that more than you’ll ever know. From coach to great friend you’ve been there for me and give it to me straight and although it’s not always what I want to hear I know it’s a heartfelt answer.

Wendy -

Quite possibly one of the most amazing people in my life. You have a way with your words that is second to none. The ability to push me through the hardest things in life is something noone else but you could do and I’ll never forget that as long as I live.

Leah -

@matthewschick! Another level headed person in my life. Much like @tricon I’ve never met you but hell I feel like I can talk to you about whatever. I know I’ll get a good response back and maybe something to make me smile. Plus how could I not enjoy talking to someone who cooks dinner in a microwave oven? hehe.

Sarah -

@huddydesign! Thanks for all the chats. You keep my mind preoccupied with design stuff, athletic stuff, etc. I appreciate that more than you know. It’s that kind of chatter that I often need when dealing with the daily stress of coaching, life, etc. Noone does that better than you so my thanks go out to you for sure.

I’m sure I’ve forgotten some people and I’m sorry for that. I’ve never been really good at this letting people know I appreciate them thing. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart and as you’ve been there for me you can count on me being there for you.

Here’s to you, my friends. You deserve more than my thanks.

Don’t compromise yourself, you’re all you’ve got

- Janis Joplin

So very true. All to often I see people backing off of their dreams and putting them away for another day to never return back to them. If you’re going to passionate about a dream you need to see it through. As hard as it might be and as taxing on you and everyone around it might be. To abandon a dream is like leaving a loved one on the side of the road to walk home when you’re 1,000 miles away.

Decide. Make that choice to pursue that dream of yours. Realize it might takes days or years to complete. Whether you’re ready or not to take that leap doesn’t matter. As I tell my swimmers it’s time to “get up and go”. It’s time to attack your dream with the vigor of a 12 year old opening presents on Christmas day.

Regrets. Don’t have any. It’s your dream, noone elses. Remember this. Sure you might have people in your life that you’ll need to help you achieve your dream but they’re your support system. It’s you in this and only you. That’s why it’s a dream. Consider everything during this time period to happen for a reason. Even if it’s a step back turn it into two steps forward. Use that time to refocus your energy so you don’t have the same thing happen again.

Be passionate. If you’re not going to be passionate about achieving your dream then you have no business even starting down the path. When you’re mentally and emotionally ready to start on your way then you go. Not until then.

Never. Back. Down. There will be naysayers and those who will try and stand in your way. Sidestep them and get  a move on. Don’t let them jab and taunt you with their words and actions. They are just weak individuals who are envious of such a focused person that is well on their way to achieving something.

“When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place.”

- Author Unknown

I’ve always said to everyone I know (and they’ll tell you if you ask them) that if I could coach swimming for the rest of my life I’d be one hell of a happy person. Just coaching this team that I’ve started up has been an absolute godsend. I love being on deck, working with people, helping them get better and helping them achieve those dreams that we all have. There’s no better feeling in the world than seeing someone who has gone through so much, worked so hard, get up and go and do something incredible. That being said even a single ounce of discouragement can throw everything out of whack and it’s something that we as athletes and coaches need to stray away from.

There’s that old mantra: if you have nothing good to say don’t say it. Same applies here. If you’ve got no words of encouragement and only words of discouragement take them somewhere else. They’re not wanted or needed here. Sure there are those “let’s have a reality check” conversations but the end of those should just fire someone up even more and not have them feeling mentally soupy inside.

Encouragement should come in doses. What we as coaches need to realize that our words of encouragement can sometimes be taken and blown out of proportion and before you know it you have a headcase on your hands that will be tought to deal with if it keeps going on. I make it a point that at the end of every set I let my swimmers know that they just kicked some ass. If they didn’t kick ass we talk about why and how they felt in the water. You know, what felt good, what didn’t, etc. The last thing I need is for them to think “Oh god coach didn’t say anything, we must have sucked.” I’d rather take the time and talk about it, make corrections and really go after the next set. I find this approach keeps spirits up, keeps the swimmers at a constant “let’s kick some ass attitude.” and allows me to really focus on the good things and stay in a good frame of mind for the practice. We all have our bad days and I do my level best not to take out on them or anyone else. If I’m having a bad day they get a longer warmup so I can make sure I’m good to go and ready to give them everything I’ve got.

Sports are a two way street much like relationships. If my swimmers are giving me their best there is no reason I should not be giving them my best in return. This requires a focus and an attention to detail that was not easy to come by. It pretty much requires me to eat, sleep, breathe swimming from all aspects. Stroke work, technique, physiology and psychology as well as a number of other areas. I just don’t do it for the swimmers I do it for me as well. If I’m not having fun doing something what is the point of doing it right?

I guess what I am trying to get at is don’t let those who wish to toss mud at you get you down. Let is roll off your shoulders and get back on the block and get ready for some repeat 400 I.M.s

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

As with anything in life being focused when you’re trying to accomplish something is extremely important. Perhaps more important than anything else is your level of focus. Results will vary depending on your level of focus. I guarantee it, I’ve been there and I’ve done that.

Again, I’ll liken focus to swimming as it’s what I’m connected to the most and have been able to see astounding results in. Whether it’s a 5,000 yard workout for my sprinters or a 10,000 yard workout for my distance swimmers the last part of that practice is going to be an ass kicker. Especially only 3 or 4 weeks into the season. That being said I’m constantly telling them to focus even more in the final legs of practice. It’s then and there where going through the motions won’t cut it. It’s at the end where swimming sloppy is going to start breeding those bad habits. We often talk about being technique perfect more so towards the end of practice because of the fatigue factor. Some have had the mindset that the 5,000 yards will eventually be able to be done strong when they are in better shape. Sure it will but by then you’re doing 7,000 yards instead. All too often I see swimmers get in and go through the motions and call it a day. The great ones will get in, think about what they need to do, and they get it done with such a finesse and air of excellence about them that it’s second to none and it’s something the ordinary can only dream of.

What is the reasoning behind this? What makes someone a greater swimmer than the next person? I think we can agree that if we place two swimmers of equal technical ability next to each other they’ll pretty much stay together for sets or the race. However, if one of those swimmers has a greater mental edge and focus than the other I’ll guarantee it’s that swimmer that will win the race and kick ass in practice. It’s getting by the mental blocks in your head that allows you to become that great athlete, business person, etc. Easier said than done? Sure is. I’ll be the first to tell you that. However, once you get a grip on breaking those blocks the potential to become super focused is well within your grasp.

The Happy Place

For all intents and purposes we’re going to make this the start of every exercise we do. We all have this happy place within us that we goto when we’re having a hard time with life, a project, etc. I need you to get there. Once you get good at this it’ll take you seconds to get there. At the start it might take awhile for you to get there and that’s ok. This takes practice. Once in your happy place you’ve established a primary level of focus. This meaning you’ve been able to shut out distractions, noise, etc. Keep practicing and when you’ve achieved a really good level of focus keep on reading.

The Funnel

Sit down, relax, get to that happy place that we all have. You’ll then want to picture yourself at the top of a large black funnel. Step off the edge, and start spiraling down the funnel toward the hole at the bottom. On your way down you should be forgetting everything that’s been going on. Put aside for the time being, release the stress, let it go. When you get to the hole at the bottom go through it and on the other side you should be back in your happy place.

I’ve been using the funnel technique for a long time and it’s worked quite well for me. I do it behind the blocks before a race and I do it before diving head first into a project. It relaxes me and gives me that forward thinking vision I need to be able to succeed in whatever it is I am doing.

There’s a shark chasing me

I’m not kidding. When I’m swimming by myself and even when I am swimming with a group I imagine a shark chasing me through the deep end of the pool and I have to get to the shallow end as fast as I can. Call me crazy but it helps me out immensely. My twitter buddy Sarah Hudson actually mentioned to me that I should do it today and we had a fun conversation about how we both thought we were the only ones who did it. We’re not the only ones but it works. I promise you. If done correctly you can become so focused that you almost achieve that feeling of fight or flight that we’ve all felt before. Try it next time you’re in a pool see what happens. Runners can liken it to that feeling of someone chasing them.

There is a primary factor

Ever tried to focus while your stressed? It’s tough or not even attainable at all. I know for me focusing while I am stressed is impossible. How does one combat this? You need to be able to relax. Often times I meditate. I close my eyes, I go on a journey in mind. I wander to my happy place. On the way I do my best to drop whatever it is that is stressing me on the way. That way when I’m in my happy place it’s not soiled by any negative thoughts.

Another way is to just close your eyes and imagine the waves just rolling over you, washing away every care in the world. When the waves recede your left there with nothing but you, your heart and your mind.

The key here is to make sure once you do get to this relaxed state you don’t starting thinking about those stressors again.

The bottom line

Being focused in anything whether it’s sport, work or whatever else it is you do can lead you to much higher levels of achievement. A superior level of focus is absolutely attainable but you need to be willing to work towards it just like everything else in life. It’s not going to come easy and sometimes can get extremely emotional. I’ve seen swimmers break down while doing their relaxation. It’s ok, get it out. The more you get out during your relaxation or focus time the better off you will be when you come out on the other side.

Take Michael Phelps for example. His coach Bob Bowman was heavily involved in his life and still is. Why? Because as he puts it at the time that’s what Michael needed. Bob filled that void and gap for Michael and it shows. Not only do I look up to Phelps as an athlete but I look up to Bowman as a model for coaching.

I’d like to think when it comes to coaching the swimmers I have on my club I am invested in each and everyone of them. Is it always equal? No. And I’ll be the first to tell you that. I want to give back to them the time they put in. I want to be there for them for whatever they need. The last thing any coach wants is a swimmer who is having a crummy day to jump in the pool and do some trash yardage. It doesn’t do anyone any good. This is why I have an open door policy. My swimmers know where I am at any given time during the week. They have a variety of ways to reach me if they need to. Some people might shun this and say “you need some time for yourself.” I sure do and I work that in. It’s what keeps me sane. I’m extremely involved as a coach, but I’m only involved as much as the swimmer wants me to be. I try not to ask the prying questions, I’d rather them come to me and ask or tell me what’s going on.

This style of coaching leaves the coach emotionally vulnerable and suseptible to stress and other related symptoms quite easily. This is something that can be overcome with experience and time. The thing to remember is that everything gets better over time. What you don’t want to do after a possible emotionally taxing week is to back off or not be there 100% for your athlete. If you make the decision to be open and be the person who listens and tries to help you need to be in it all the way. There is no half way with this style.

I’ve had coaches who were cold and didn’t care about what was going on. All they cared about was whether or not I got in that day and did the 10,000 yards asked of me. This was extremely detrimental to my psyche and more often than not was the catalyst for me getting discouraged.

Am I an expert? No. This is merely an opinion derived from personal experience. But this can be carried over to everyday life, your job, etc. Gauging how involved you are with your employees, coworkers, family even will drastically change your outlook on your family, job & life.

Have you ever even given a thought to how involved you are emotionally, mentally and physically in everything you do?

I’d like to think that I am fair across the board with my swimmers. I push the ones that need it and I make sure the ones that have a great work ethic already stay excited and motivated. However, I’ve noticed lately that I’ve had a couple swimmers jump in the water and swim angry. They’re upset for some reason or another, stressed over something, etc. The last thing I want them to do is swim angry, stressed, upset or what ever other negative emotion is flowing through them. This breeds bad habits and it’s something we definitely don’t want or need. It can also snowball into something worse. Such as a swimmer taking their goggles off, getting out of the water and calling it a day. I think there is a certain level of a personal relationship a coach should have with his/her swimmers. A coach should be there for their swimmers for whatever they need. Outside advice, a shoulder to lean on, someone to vent to, etc. The majority of the time after a swimmer who is stressed or angry talks with me about what’s going on they get back in the water and kick some ass. They don’t even need to give me the details, we can just talk about whatever. My response is always the same:

“Worry about the stuff you can change and stop worrying about the stuff you can’t.”

It does you nor anyone around you any good if you’re stressing about something out of your control. Now someone might say to me “that might work for you”. Sure it works for me. I don’t ever worry about the stuff out of my control. Why? Because I can’t do a damn thing about it. I worry about the stuff I can change and I make sure I make that change so it doesn’t happen again.

You can take this example into real life, your job, anywhere. We’d be much better off as humans if we let things roll off of us. Many of the stressful events in our lives are uncontrollable. Everyone deals in their own way and many deal in ways that are borderline abusive to themselves. This is upsetting and something I hate to see happen.

If you take one thing from this post it’s the quote above. Start making a conscience effort to change the things you can and let the things you can’t roll off your shoulders. You can’t do anything about it so why even try or stress yourself out trying to.

All the best.

Some of you may have seen me speak about a big announcement I had a couple weeks back on twitter. And although I was not able to say anything then I am finally being allowed to let the cat out of the bag. A few weeks ago Ben Matthews contacted me about some design work he needed done for a project he was spearheading. One thing led to another and another and before I knew it Ben and I were talking about how and if I could fit into the project he was developing. After a whirlwind of a conversation it was decided that I would become the Communities Manager of a new communications firm called Bright One.

What is Bright One? Ben puts it best so let me share with you a clip from our site.

Bright One is a communications agency aimed at charities, non-profits and social enterprises, run by volunteers from the industry who want to broaden their communication’s experience and use their expertise for social good.

We aim to deliver high quality communications for charities, non-profit organizations and social enterprises, and in turn help them to reach those they are trying to help. We do this by developing the communications experience and expertise of volunteers who are driven by the social potential of their work, by providing training and support, and providing access to a valuable network of communications professionals.

Bright One also provides a link between charities and non-profits, between communications students and volunteers, and between industry companies and professionals, providing an understanding of the role that each plays in relation to each other.

- from the Bright One “About” page

Now that you know what Bright One does I’m sure you’re asking what exactly I’m going to be doing. My role in the company is two fold. External and Internal. I’m charged with making sure Bright One and our clients are using social networks in the best ways possible. I’m also charged with fostering communities for our clients and creating and maintaining a community for Bright One. These tasks although they may sound easy always represent a challenge and I’m looking forward to helping Bright One and our clients succeed.

Want to know more? Head over to Bright One and check it out!

However, I do realize that clients can and do often times change their minds about the direction they want to go and that direction might suddenly start to interfere with who you are as an artist. Troubling? Yes, of course it’s troubling. I can remember when I had an intern working with me this summer, he would hand me things just to meet deadlines. When I would ask about whether or not he was happy with the work it was always the same answer, no. I likened this to a chef. If a chef isn’t happy with what he cooked he will start over, have the wait staff address the customer about the problem in a professional way and proceed to make the customer an out of this world meal he’s happy with serving. The same mindset ought to go for us as artists. If you’re in constant communication with a client about the project and notice that the way it’s going isn’t something you’re happy with handing over to them, take a step back, talk with the client, come to a solution and hopefully do something that knocks their socks off and that you’re super happy with.

Never ever should an artist sacrifice their integrity or vision for a client. There’s always a happy medium one can find which makes you as the artist feel a lot better about the work and will make the client that much more confident in the work you’re doing for them. The last thing a client needs or wants is someone who isn’t confident in the project they’re working on.